Welcome to the Freak Show!

What I like about online dating is that it speeds up the process of getting to know someone. So far, I've been matched with over 60 people. And I've “talked” with about a dozen. So, it's like I've gotten dressed up and sat at a bar stool for weeks and winked at boys and they've flirted with me. But at bars, you can't ask how often someone smokes or if they want children. However, you can often tell if they are sketchy. Which can sometimes be difficult to discern via an online system. But then, men are a lot stupider than we give them credit for. So after looking at over 50 profiles, let me tell you what I realize are some instant turnoffs for me:

• Saying you're thankful for your health. It just weirds me out for a reason I can't explain. I mean, we aren't 60- I'm not concerned that you're going to keel over and die. Sadly, it seems all the rage. I would say the top three things I hear are Family, Friends, and health. Really? It's just so... boring. And I am not a boring person.
• Excessive pictures of you hugging pretty women. Sometimes they tell you it's their sister. Which is fine. But no one wants to compete for the spot of #1 woman in your heart. And I am not impressed with your ability to pull a pretty chick.
• Excessive mentioning of your married friends and their wives. I'm not in the market for a couple to double date with. And I'm not intesested in auditioning for your gang of friends.
• Listing a healthy sex life as one of your “must haves”. Tell me: When has walking up to a stranger and saying "hi, my name is Jim and I'd like to have sex with you” worked? Dumbass.
• And this isn't a profile, but right after you look at the profile, you can send someone multiple choice questions. WHY would you send me a question asking me how many children I would like to have? a.0, b.1, c.2, d.3+. First of, my profile clearly says “Maybe” to kids. And while I admit that some women only say maybe so men won't think that they want kids now. My Maybe is a legit MAYBE. And second of all: When would you ever walk up to someone and say, “Hi, My name is Rajeet, How many children would you like to have? When can I impregnate you?”

But it's not a total loss. There are a few boys I've got my eye on. Maybe some of the positives tomorrow :)