Dating the Man who says things too soon.

January 10, 2011

So, I've been kinda freaking out about how into me Smoker appears to be. He's wanted to hang out Saturday and Sunday. He mentioned he needed a date for something March. He's talked about me to his mom. Everytime we talk, it seems like he's checking things off his list and if we make it to the bottom of the page, everything will be good to go for a lifetime of happiness.

And I'm realizing that this is a pattern in many of the men I've dated in the last few years. I've dated (rounding those relationships up) 4 men since I moved to Philadelphia and 3 of them have been classic Early Releasers. By which I mean, saying things way to early in a relationship.

There was Big Tall Italian guy, who, on our second date, let me know that he had talked about me to his mom and just wanted to check and make sure that when he went home this weekend, he could tell his parents that we were together. I said sure! But at that point, I had never talked to my parents about any boy I was dating. I would reference a date that had occurred in the past, sometimes the not too distant past. But there was no talking about a boy I was with, until Pastor.

And there was Pastor, who on the infamous, "I feel like I'm cheating on my wife' night, also said, "I'm not saying that this will lead to marriage, but I could see that happening with us. And if it does, we're going to have to talk about children. Because I'm on the 'no' side of Maybe and if it's something you really want, I'm gonna want that to happen sooner rather than later." I mean the levels of WTF are just off the charts for this one.

And now this guy keeps talking about how this is so great- and I agree that it is really great- and he just seems to assume that everything will work out between us and has not hesitation about telling me this.

I have always assumed that if I ever indicated on a 1st date, or even in the first month of dating, that I thought we would be seeing each months down the line, the boy would run for the hills. But here they are, nonchalantly making plans months in the future, involving their parents and even our future children into our very early discussions.

And here's my problem with this. It takes me a bit longer to make up my mind about someone. I need a bit of time to figure out if I like him and if we make a good couple before I can introduce him to my friends or family and a lot of time to decide if we would be good parents. And it seems just about the time that I come around, he's decided that he would like to date someone else. That's not fair.