Is this what I was looking for?

May 24, 2011

Is this what dating is? Over the past few weeks, we've gone out for several meals. We talk everyday. I've told my friends. I've even told my mother. We're still going away next weekend. And I just keep thinking that this doesn't feel like dating.

I'm certainly feeling a spark. I look at this man and he makes my knees wobble. But aside from a chaste kiss on the lips at the end of the evening, there's nothing else going on. There's the occasional hand holding. There's the frequent looks. If 15-year old Ashby was looking for a relationship, it couldn't get more perfect than this. But I'm almost 30. I thought that there would be more.

I know that part of learning how to date is learning how to have difficult conversations. Mostly I feel that I can talk to Pastor- he's the best listener I've ever met. But how do I bring this up?

"If we fooled around on your couch, would that feel like you were cheating on your wife?"  

But we're going away this weekend. The last weekend was so wonderful- it's when we really let our guard down and became so close. And this will be four days, not three. Maybe it will change everything.